


Ready As I'll Ever Be

by qindery



Category: NCT (Band), NCT Dream
Genre: 00 Fic Fest, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Hogwarts, M/M, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21775270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qindery/pseuds/qindery
Summary: Jeno's the Gryffindor Seeker, a popular, well liked boy in his final year at Hogwarts. Jaemin's a Slytherin Prefect, a popular guy, but more by status than likability. Everyone thinks they're sworn enemies, ready to watch each other burn.Little does everyone know that Jeno and Jaemin have been dating for the past year.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 358
Collections: ’00 FIC FEST: ROUND ONE





	Ready As I'll Ever Be

**_November, 2011_ ** **\- First Year**

"Get out of my way, mudblood."

Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno's worst nightmare of a person, shoves into his shoulder, knocking him into the wall. Jeno's friends start spitting insults back at Jaemin, as he and his fellow Slytherin friend Donghyuck carry on down the corridor.

"Leave it, guys. He's not worth the breath." Jaemin had had a problem with Jeno, it seemed, since the very first day at Hogwarts. Jeno, though, had no idea what he'd done to anger the Slytherin boy so much. He figured it was probably just about his blood status, though, as Jaemin had made it pretty clear he thought Jeno didn't belong at Hogwarts multiple times.

"One day I'm going to kick him so hard in the mouth all of his pearly whites are going to fall right out of his empty head." Huang Renjun, Jeno's best friend, snarls.

"Well, we've got nothing to worry about when we have a Renjun to protect us, right Jen?" Liu Yangyang, fellow Gryffindor, says with a chuckle. Jeno, Renjun, and Yangyang had been friends pretty much from the moment they met on their first day at Hogwarts, and all had had to deal with Jaemins taunting every since, though Jeno felt it was his fault - he was the only muggle born among them, so obviously he was the one all the hurtful words were aimed at.

"He's just spiteful. Best to ignore him." Sure, Jeno wonders why Jaemin had to pick him out of all the muggle borns in their year, but there's no use dwelling on it, when he'll never have the courage to change anything about his situation. He's a coward. The Sorting Hat must've been mistaken in placing him in Gryffindor - he didn't have a single brave bone in his body.

* * *

**_May, 2018_ ** **\- Seventh Year** **_(Present Day)_ **

Jeno lays with his head in Jaemin's lap, eyes closed as Jaemin's gentle hands play with his hair, reading to him quietly. In the safety of their secluded little clearing within the forest surrounding Hogsmeade they don't hold back their affections. It's afternoons like these that Jeno cherishes, when they don't have to hide, when they can simply love each other in peace, away from the suspicious gazes of their friends.

Recently, though, hiding their relationship has gotten harder. It's hard for Jeno to hold back when Yangyang calls Jaemin a blithering idiot. It's hard for Jaemin not to snap when Donghyuck says Jeno's 'uglier than the blast-ended skrewt he spent all afternoon trying to shove into a cage without getting entirely covered in goo'. Jeno's not even sure why they don't just come clean, or at least make it clear they're not longer mortal enemies, if only to stop the nasty comments from their friends. But, they've been keeping such a big secret for so long now that they can't find an easy way out anymore.

"We should tell them." Jeno's voice is soft, and if Jaemin hadn't been so focused on him he mightn't have heard him speak. "At least before the end of the year."

"I know..." Jaemin agrees. Jeno knows they're on the same page, that they have been for a while now. They'd meant to come clean at the beginning of their final year, had meant to be able to openly enjoy dating each other through their seventh year, but they'd not found the right moment. Now, somehow it was almost the end of the year, and they were still hiding. "I'm just... not sure how to, y'know?"

With a sigh, Jeno opens his eyes, a fond smile on his lips as he lifts his hands to stroke his thumb across Jaemin's cheekbone. "I know. We'll figure something out."

*

Jeno hadn't thought about his feelings for Jaemin until their fifth year at Hogwarts. Jaemin had been his preteen bully for almost four years, so naturally he'd not been fond of him. Jaemin, on the other hand, had confessed to Jeno, after they started dating, that the whole bullying thing started because Jaemin wasn't sure how to handle his mushy feelings for little, first year Jeno. It was a typical case of young, immature boy being mean to his crush because 'feelings' were so foreign a concept to him.

It had taken Jeno a long time to properly forgive Jaemin for tormenting him for years though, and Jaemin had understood his reluctance to fully let him in. But, Jeno was a softie, and the more Jaemin proved he'd grown up, that he wasn't going to turn and call Jeno foul names again, that he  _ actually cared,  _ Jeno's icy exterior melted away and he opened his arms, and in turn, his heart, to Jaemin. 

Now though, nearing the end of their final year at Hogwarts, Jaemin was someone Jeno would trust with his life. Although Jaemin couldn't be Jeno's first kiss, as Jeno was his, they were each others first in many other ways. They'd grown from twelve year old enemies, to fifteen year old friends, then finally - to eighteen year old lovers.

"Hey, earth to Jeno!" Yangyang snaps his fingers in front of Jeno's face, a frown etched into his face. "You've been sitting catching flies for like ten minutes already. I had no idea you could think so much."

"Oh  _ haha _ ." Jeno retorts, rolling his eyes and turning his body sideways on the saggy, old couch in front of the Gryffindor common room fireplace. "I was just... thinking about that transfig homework Twigs set us."

"I fully believe he's trying to kill us, y'know. Like one hundred percent convinced. Why else would he set us two whole sides of parchment on the method of transfiguring yourself into non-human entities?"

Jeno hums, letting Yangyang ramble on. It isn't that he's not interested in what Yangyang has to say, because he honestly is usually very entertaining - even if a little ridiculous at times. But he finds himself too preoccupied these days worrying about his  _ big secret _ to really partake in his friends conversations. Renjun must've noticed by now, he's too smart to not have. 

He could just tell his friends,  _ ‘Hey, i’ve been dating Jaemin for over a year now’ _ , but the thought of how they might react scares him. What if they don’t approve? What if they won’t believe that Jaemin’s changed. Jeno knows that Jaemin’s comments were always directed at him, and since they’d become friends he’d admitted that he never had a problem with Jeno’s friends - just with his bothersome crush on Jeno. After their friendship formed, the snide comments were purely to keep up the facade that they hated each other. But what if his friends don’t believe that?

He’s just going to have to find some other way to tell them, some way that’ll make sure they can’t try and talk Jeno out of it, or disapprove, and cause friction in their friendship. For now, though, he’s got no ideas. 

* * *

**_January, 2015_ ** **\- Fourth Year**

Moonlight casts long columns of light across the stone floor of the corridors as Jeno walks quietly along them, swaddled in his large, fluffy dressing gown. He’s got to stop this, he thinks, going down to the kitchen at silly o’ clock in the early morning, just to fill his large, dressing-gown pockets with assortments of sweet muffins. They’re just too good, though; so soft, fluffy and sweet. His sleep schedule surely suffers from his night-time muffin-centric adventures, but he’d wager it’s worth it. 

He’s on his way back to the dorm after visiting the house elves in the kitchen and being loaded down with muffins, when he spots a figure skulking along in the shadows up ahead. He’d know that silhouette anywhere.  _ Na Jaemin, what are you doing out of bed at this hour?  _ He really should be asking himself that. Surely Jeno can’t just let a hooligan like Na Jaemin wander the corridors so late at night - he’s bound to get up to some mischief, and Jeno really should stop him. 

But Jeno’s not really in the mood to have Jaemin verbally assault him while he’s in his dressing gown, breaking bits off the muffins in his pockets to nibble at on his journey back to his dorm. So, he decides to follow him, just to make sure a disaster doesn’t happen. Shifting into the shadows he silently starts to trail Jaemin.

It’s a good thing Jeno followed Jaemin that night. He follows him right down to the doors leading out to the greenhouses, and then slinks through a few seconds after him, wondering whether he’s going off to a date or something. But, it’s not long before Jeno realises what this midnight meeting is. Jaemin meets another boy, a year or so above them, and Jeno finally notices their wands drawn in both their hands. His tummy twits nervously, fearing that his suspicions may be right. 

The duel doesn’t go well for Jaemin. It doesn’t last long, and by the time the other boy is running away, back into the castle, terrified of the damage he’d done to poor Jaein, Jeno’s stumbling out from his hiding place, eyes wide as he stares at Jaemin’s still body on the ground, blood seeping from multiple lacerations beneath his nightshirt. Jeno has no idea what spell the boy had used, but he’s always been good at healing. With a shaky voice, and a shaky hand, he drags the tip of his wand over each slash in his skin, feeding his energy into the spell he quietly casts. 

After a while, once the bleeding stopped and Jaemin’s slowly awakening Jeno relaxes. For a moment he feared Jaemin would die. In all honesty, he’s not even sure why he should care, but then, as if the thought had burnt him like a red-hot poker, he reels back from the thought. Just because Jaemin was cruel to him didn’t mean he deserved to die, or that Jeno would ever wish for that. Jaemin was a dumb teen, and Jeno knew it wasn’t unusual for dumb teens to be, well,  _ dumb _ . 

Jaemin isn’t too pleased at the whole situation. Waking up to Jeno’s face looming over him certainly isn’t something he’s going to be thrilled about, of course, but after a moment the deep frown on his face thins and he groans. “What happened?” He mumbles. Jeno, helping him sit up, softly explains how the duel ended, and how lucky for Jaemin, Jeno was there to make sure he didn’t bleed to death. 

“Why were you even around?” Jaemin asks. It sounds like he’s forcing that usual hatred into his voice, but there’s a hole in it now, and it just keeps pouring back out as Jaemin stuffs more in. Jeno simply smiles, reaching into his pocket to pull out an untouched muffin and place it in Jaemin’s hand. “It’ll make you feel a bit better.” 

“Why are you being nice to me? Shouldn’t you have just left me to die?”

“I’m not you. I don’t want you dead. Sure, I don’t like you, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stand by and watch you die.” 

Jaemin doesn’t reply, but he takes a small bite of the muffin. 

It’s a step in the right direction, Jeno thinks.

* * *

**_September, 2015_ \- Fifth Year**

_ “The next pair is… Jaemin Na, and Jeno Lee.” _

Breath catches in Jeno’s throat and his lips glue themselves into a firm line as worry begins to bubble in his stomach. He doesn’t glance over to Jaemin, sitting a few desks away, because he’s scared of what he might find written on the boys face. They’d not spoken about that night almost a year ago, had simply silently agreed to a truce between just them two. They weren’t friends, nor were they sworn enemies, but  _ this _ , working together on such a huge, long term project where they had to spend time together outside of class, wasn’t going to be pleasant by any means. 

Hushed whispers pick up around them - everyone knows that Jaemin and Jeno are enemies, or at least, they think they still are. Jeno needs to get a good grade, he needs to study hard; they have OWLs to prepare for, so he can’t let whatever odd situation is happening between him and Jaemin get in the way. They’ll just have to suck it up and work amicably together. 

He finally lifts his head when he hears someone set their books down on the table beside him. Jaemin’s expression is unreadable, as if he feels absolutely nothing about their being paired up. At least, Jeno thinks, if he’s got no feelings towards the pairing he won’t make this hard for them. Jeno tries to smile, but Jaemin seems to be pointedly ignoring his existence. In all honesty, it’s better than trying to blow him up, which he’d often tried to do during their first year. 

* 

“Do you still hate me?” 

It’s been a week since the project started, and it’s the first day Jeno and Jaemin have met up outside of class to work on it together. All week, Jaemin’s been nothing but stiff and monotone when interacting with Jeno in class, and he’s tired of trying to guess where they stand now, since it feels to Jeno like Jaemin still hates him deep down. 

“What?”

Jaemin’s brow’s furrowed, almost like he doesn’t understand the question. “Of course I don’t, I thought that was obvious.” He lowers his voice to speak this time, not meeting Jeno’s eyes as he talks. A weight falls from Jeno’s shoulders and he finds himself relaxing. The project won’t be a huge disaster if Jaemin really doesn’t hate his guts anymore. 

“Not really. You barely say anything to me in class. You’ve been so stiff I thought you’d gone back to hating me.” 

“I had to keep up pretenses, didn’t I? I thought we agreed to pretend nothing had changed?”

“Well,  _ yeah _ but-”

“I’m just following the plan.”

Jeno scoffs, almost laughing. Jaemin talks about it as if they put together a sinister plot to fool everyone into thinking they were still sworn enemies, when they simply agreed that there was no hatred anymore. “You talk about it like we discussed a big devious plot. You don’t have to act like you hate me so much that you can’t even look at me, you know. It’s going to be hard getting this project done if you won’t even talk to me properly in class.”

“Fine, but we  _ aren’t _ friends.”

“Never said I wanted to be your friend.”

“Whatever, Lee.”

*

Days turn to weeks, and somehow, through the evenings that Jeno spends with Jaemin in the back corner of the library, they begin to realise how much they have in common. Their favourite subjects, and their favourite foods. They like the same kinds of music, and fiction, and both love animals. In mere months, their solid ‘not friends’ agreement begins to crack and crumble, and Jeno starts to look forward to the nights he gets to spend with Jaemin. 

“You know… you’re not a bad guy.” Jeno says one evening, looking over the top of his book at Jaemin, who’s sat across from him. Jaemin chuckles, looking up from his book, then setting it down and leaning his chin on his palm. 

“You sure you want to say that even after all the stuff I said to you in the past?” Sure, Jaemin had tormented Jeno for years before they’d come to a truce, and sure, Jeno had been constantly hurt by his words, but something told him it wasn’t because Jaemin was evil. 

“I’m inclined to believe you didn’t say all that stuff because you’re some evil guy who gets pleasure out of seeing people suffer.” Jeno expects Jaemin to sarcastically reply that that was exactly why he’d done it, but instead he simply stays silent, staring at Jeno for a moment, before humming and picking his book back up. 

“You’re not so bad yourself, Lee.” 

*

Once the project’s over the two don’t have much of a reason to see each other anymore. Though it should feel like a relief to be away from Jaemin now, as his friends think it should be, something in him feels like he’s got to mourn whatever relationship they were forming during those times when they’d work on the project until curfew. The first week after the project’s finish, Jeno finds himself feeling a little empty when he returns to the common room, instead of heading off to the library as he had been doing for weeks now. 

Who knew he’d form some odd attachment to his former bully. 

So, he does the only thing he can think of - he sends Jaemin an owl one night, trying to lightheartedly tell him he misses studying with him. He writes, and rewrites the letter multiple times, wondering why it’s so hard to simply tell Jaemin he wants to be real friends. But, finally, he settles on a simple letter, bluntly telling him how he feels, and hopes it won’t ruin whatever they had going there. 

A few days go by, and Jeno begins to think he really did screw it up, when he awakens to a note on his pillow, tied with a green ribbon. 

_ We can be friends.  _

_ Keep sending letters. Pen pals? For now.  _

_ NJ _

Jeno’s pretty sure the smile doesn’t leave his face until lunch that day. 

*

_ Meet me at 9am in the North corner of the Clocktower Courtyard. We’re going to Hogsmeade. Tell your friends you’re going alone.  _

_ NJ _

The sun beats down hard on the top of Jeno’s head as he crosses the courtyard. Once he’s in the shade of the cloister his eyes swoop from left to right, trying to spot Jaemin, or anyone who might see them meeting up. Luckily for them, no one else is in the entire courtyard yet. Most of the students sleep in later on weekends - no one would even think about waking before nine on a Saturday. 

“Looking good, Lee.” 

The familiar voice tugs Jeno’s lips into an involuntary smile. “Nana.” His greeting, a nickname he’d given Jaemin a couple months prior, makes Jaemin roll his eyes. He’d long since accepted it. 

“So, what’s the plan? Why are we going to Hogsmeade together?” 

“Why not? I… wanted to spend time with you, and although we’ll most definitely have to hide a lot, I wanted to spend the day with you, and it’s easier to spend time together without people seeing if we’re outside the castle.”

“I didn’t realise you were so ashamed of me, Nana.” Jeno says dramatically, lifting a hand to his chest as though wounded by Jaemin’s words. Rolling his eyes, Jaemin laughs. Reaching out he tugs on Jeno’s sleeve, pulling him as he begins to move towards the wooden bridge to lead them towards Hogsmeade. 

* * *

**_October, 2016_ \- Sixth Year**

Things seem… different.

Jeno’s palms begin to sweat as he walks beside Jaemin in the weakening autumn sun. At first he’d thought it was merely the heat, the weather making every inch of him perspire. But, it’d been getting just a little cooler, and it was getting harder and harder to simply write it off as the weather. Ever since they’d gotten back from summer break there’d been a shift in things. A tension that Jeno couldn’t put his finger on. 

Had Jaemin decided to go back to hating Jeno?  _ No, it couldn’t be that _ \- he’d been smiling as bright as he’d ever smiled at Jeno recently. There hadn’t been any visible change in their friendship, yet Jeno felt as though he had an itch he couldn’t scratch. 

Sitting beside Jaemin, on the slightly damp grass in the little clearing they’d found right before they’d gone home for the summer, Jeno watches him read. He notices how Jaemin’s hair shines in the sunlight. How he chews on his lip absnet-mindedly, his mind drifting off into the land of whatever book he’s reading. Jeno notices how thick his eyelashes are, and how soft his skin looks. Things he’d never really bothered looking at before, he now wonders how he was so blind to them before - how he’d never noticed just how  _ pretty _ Jaemin was. 

As soon as the thought enters his head he stomps on it like a bug. He can’t go thinking stuff like that right now, not about Jaemin. He can’t go ruining this promising friendship with whatever this weird bubbly feeling in his gut is. He’s just going to have to ignore how much he wants to reach out and take Jaemins hand, and how much he wishes they could just be outwardly friends. 

Over the summer they’d written letters constantly, updating each other on what they’d been doing, or what they wished they could be doing together. They’d written about going on walks in the forest together, baking together, having sleepovers where they built blanket forts. For a while Jeno even forgot to reply to some of Renjun and Yangyang’s letters. 

They visit Hogsmeade together most weekends now, getting sweets from Honeydukes, then scurrying away to their secret clearing in the woods that surrounds the small village. The only problem is now Jeno wonders why he can’t just relax with Jaemin like he can with Renjun and Yangyang. Something’s holding him back, and it seems to be the same thing that’s causing his sweaty palms. 

Whatever it is, he really wishes it would just go away already. 

*

As time goes on the sweaty palms only get worse. It takes Jeno until Christmas to figure out what it is, though. 

“I think I love him.” Renjun admits, frowning at the flower he’s ripping the petals off of. 

“How do you know? Like… what makes you think you do?” Jeno asks, curious. He’s never been in love before, and isn’t really sure what to look out for. What are the signs of being in love? Jeno hasn’t a clue. 

“Well, insides kinda go all…  _ swirly _ when I see him. It’s like my stomach and intestines have all started dancing but not in a painful way, more like a nervous excitement way.” Renjun stops mutilating the flower for a moment to smile off into the distance, as though picturing the scenarios in which he gets these twisty feelings. 

“Oh, and my palms sweat like crazy when I’m near him. It’s like… I wanna hold his hand, but I get so nervous and flustered that I just start sweating.” 

Jeno’s stomach drops. Suddenly, his mouth is dry and there’s ringing in his ears as though the Hogwarts Express had just pulled up inside his head and tooted it’s obnoxiously loud whistle. He could almost feel the vibrations in his bones.  _ Love? Is that what he’s been feeling? No, surely not. _

“Gotta go loo.” Jeno mumbles, hurriedly shoving himself to his feet and stumbling off back inside the castle. 

*

Over Christmas break Jeno stays at Hogwarts, needing some room to breath, and think, and study. He’s got assignments to work on, and thoughts about feelings to try and ignore. It isn’t until he finds out Jaemin’s staying for Christmas too that he begins to regret his decision to stay. He should be happy he gets to spend so much time with Jaemin without having to worry so much about being seen with him, but the sweating and the churning of his insides just keeps getting worse, and he’s not sure how to make it go away. He doesn’t know how to stop staring at Jaemin’s eyelashes, or his lips, or his fingers, or the way he slouches when he reaches, or the way he smiles so brightly when he sees small animals outside in the grounds. 

“Is something bothering you, Jen? You’ve been glaring at that candle for about half an hour now.” Jaemin’s voice is soft, quiet and soothing. It makes Jeno’s insides curl, and he hates it. 

“No, just… got a lot of work to do. Probably just stressed.”

“I know what you look like when you’re stressed, and that isn’t it.” Jaemin shifts closer, reaching over to take Jeno’s quill out of his hand. Only then does Jeno notice how hard he was gripping it. 

“I just… have stuff on my mind, Jaem. I don’t really wanna get into it… Sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise, I won’t pry. Just know if you wanna talk, I’m all ears. I hate to see you not being your smiley self.”

“I’m sure I’ll be back to normal soon, Jaem. Don’t worry.”

*

Months go by and the feelings only get more intense, but Jeno starts to hate them less. After thinking for a while, he decided he couldn’t hate himself for something he couldn’t control, and he wasn’t going to be able to get over his feelings if he kept focusing all his energy on hating them. So, he decided to simply let those feelings exist undisturbed, and wait for them to go away on their own. 

That was until one after in late spring. 

Sitting under one of the larger, fuller trees at the edge of their clearing, Jeno watches Jaemin throw chocolate drops in the air and catch them in his mouth. Each time he misses one, Jeno laughs and hands him another. It’s calm, and Jeno lets himself admire Jaemin’s beauty. Even as just a friend, Jeno cares deeply about Jaemin, so loving him the way he does is only a couple steps more - he can’t feel too bad about having made that leap in his heart. 

“You look nice in the sunlight.” He blurts out, making Jaemin miss the chocolate drop he was about to catch, and cough on his own saliva. After a moment of opening and closing his mouth like a fish, and his cheeks reddening to a pretty blossom pink, he manages a reply.

“I do?... You look even nicer, though, Jen.” That pretty grin adorns his lips, and Jeno feels a tugging on the centre of his chest, as if there’s a piece of string attached to his ribcage, pulling him towards Jaemin. 

“I do not.” He retorts, still being pulled towards Jaemin, inch my inch. 

“Do too!” Jaemin laughs, though it’s soft, his eyes don’t scrunch up like they usually do. His eyes are locked on Jeno, and Jeno’s on Jaemin. Jeno’s focusing on him so much he can’t help but notice how the tip of Jaemin’s tongue wets his lips, and he can’t seem to drag his eyes away. 

He licks his own lips. 

Then, it happens.

Jeno’s lips press against Jaemins, firm and steady with the conviction of someone who knows exactly what they want. Jeno’s about to pull away, about to force some hurried apology out, when Jaemin’s head tilts, and he begins to kiss back, his hands lifting to grip Jeno’s shoulders. 

The kiss is short, but full of so many unspoken feelings. 

But then it’s over, and Jaemin clears his throat and turns his head away. Jeno’s stomach drops.  _ Does he regret it? _ Jaemin’s reaction after the kiss feels somewhat like a rejection, so Jeno doesn’t say anything about the kiss. He simply goes on as though nothing happened. Even if he’s aching to kiss Jaemin again. 

*

It’s been a week since the kiss. A week since they walked back to Hogwarts, Jeno trying to talk, and Jaemin merely humming or mumbling his responses. Jeno took that as a sign that he should leave Jaemin alone for a while. Maybe he overstepped and made him uncomfortable. Maybe Jaemin never meant to kiss back. Maybe Jeno imagined it. 

So many maybes, and yet he can’t figure out a single thing that’s for certain anymore. 

So, he leaves Jaemin alone. Doesn’t send him any owls or search for him after classes, or after dinner when they’d usually sneak off to some abandoned classroom for a while to just hang out and chat. He watches Jaemin across the Great Hall at meal times, and notices the dark circles under his cheeks. He wishes he could just hug him and tell him to forget the kiss, to pretend it never happened so they could go back to being best friends. 

But he can’t, because he’s scared that Jaemin might just push him away completely. Maybe, if he keeps giving him time, Jaemin will come back to him himself, and Jeno won’t have to risk pushing him even further away than he already has pushed him. 

Two weeks have passed now, and Jeno can’t sleep well anymore. He’s sad, and it’s affecting his sleep schedule, his appetite, his motivation to do his homework. He just wants to sit in the library and gaze out at Hogsmeade in the distance, picturing their clearing and wondering whether he’ll ever get to go back with Jaemin again.

The rejection isn’t the main thing bothering him. Of course, it hurts to think Jaemin felt so negatively about Jeno kissing him that he’d cut off their entire friendship, but the worst pain was the actual loss of Jaemin in his life. He missed just seeing him smile, and hearing him laugh, and feeling his shoulder bump against his own when they read side by side. It felt like someone had taken a knife and carved a beautiful blossoming flower right out of Jeno’s chest, and all he was left with was a cold hole, steadily collecting cobwebs. 

But, just a day past two weeks, Jeno wakes to find a note on his pillow with a familiar green ribbon wrapped around it, and his heart jumps. He’s scared to open it, in case it’s a letter telling him their friendships over, or that even worse that he hates Jeno for what he did. But, he has to open it. 

_ Meet me in the Prefects bathroom tonight at 11pm. We need to talk. _

_ Nana _

Jeno’s shoulders relax a little. Surely, if he wants to meet and talk, he’s not just cutting Jeno out of his life completely, he’s at least giving Jeno a chance to explain himself. He’s still using the nickname Jeno gave him too, so that must be a good sign. Typical of perfect Prefect Jaemin to ask him to sneak out after curfew, of course. Maybe it wouldn’t go awfully; maybe Jeno could apologise and things could go back to the way they were before. 

It’s going to be okay, he assures himself. This was going to be a long day. 

That night, Jeno, in his pyjamas and fleece dressing gown, sneaks out of Gryffindor tower and slinks through the shadows towards the Prefects bathroom. He’d only been in once before, when Jaemin first became a Prefect and wanted to show him the humongous bathtub. Jeno had been pretty jealous ever since. 

It doesn’t take him long, and when he arrives, and slips inside, he immediately spots Jaemin sat on the edge of the pool sized tub, feet inside the empty bath. Jeno stops and watches him for a moment, admiring his figure from the back. He wants to hug him, and beg him to be his friend again. Having him as just a friend is better than not having him at all. 

“I don’t regret it, y’know.” 

Jeno’s taken aback by Jaemin’s sudden words, but once he’s processed them, he relaxes. This doesn’t sound like the kind of conversation where you cut off a friendship. 

“Kissing back, I mean.” Jeno watches Jaemin’s shoulders slump, and takes a hesitant step closer. “And I’m sorry for… being distant these past couple weeks. I wanted to talk to you, I really did.  _ I missed you _ -” His voice cuts out, and it sounds as though he’s holding back a wave of emotion. “I just… didn’t know why you did it.”

There’s silence for a moment or two as Jeno registers what Jaemin’s said. He takes the last few steps to close the gap between them until he’s able to sit beside Jaemin, throwing his legs over the side and into the empty tub. He lets his shoulders gently bump Jaemin’s, but refrains from turning his head to look at him. 

“I kissed you because I like you. I have… for a while now.” Jeno’s not expecting Jaemin to start softly laughing, and almost wonders if this is some malicious prank, and that Jaemin really had gone back to hating him.

“Y’know why I started being so mean to you back in first year?” Jeno shakes his head, finally turning his head to look at Jaemin. “It’s because I was mad at you. I was mad because you were so cute. You were the cutest boy I’d ever seen, and I liked you. I was mad because I didn’t want to like you.” 

It takes a moment, but Jeno starts laughing too. This whole mess started because Jaemin liked him, but it had taken them over 5 years to get to a point where they could express it to each other. “You’re dumb. If you’d just been nice to me from the start, we’d have gotten here a lot faster.” 

“Shut up, I know that.” But he’s laughing, and Jeno’s laughing with him. 

Tentatively, Jeno takes Jaemin’s hand in both of his. “I really like you, Jaemin. I… I think your smile is the most beautiful smile in the world. I felt like I was missing a limb for the past two weeks. You mean so much to me, and even though you made my first three years here hell… You’ve made the past couple more like heaven-”

“Stop, I’m gonna cry-”

“No! I have to tell you how much I care about you… How much I  _ love  _ you.” Jeno’s voice cracks on the word  _ love _ . There are tears in his eyes as he stares down at their hands, Jaemins other now coming to cover both of Jeno’s. “I’d be lost without you, Nana. You’re my best friend. You’re the only person I always want to be with, whether it’s night or day. I always wish I had you beside me.” Jaemin begins to sniffle as Jeno continues. 

“I… would be the happiest person in the whole universe if you’d agree to be my boyfriend.”

Jaemin’s lips part in surprise, eyes widening, then filling with tears that very quickly cascade down his cheeks as he nods and sniffles. “Yes. Yes, of course Jen. I’d love to be your boyfriend.” Jaemin’s arms wind round Jeno’s neck, and his face presses into his shoulder. Jeno returns the hug with just as much love, his grip tight, also desperately so. 

*

**_May, 2018_ \- Seventh Year ** **_(Present Day)_ **

“Good luck for tomorrow, Jeno!” Someone calls out as he enters the Gryffindor common room. With a slight smile in the direction of the girl who’d shouted to him, he hurries over to Yangyang, who’s sprawled across the couch as usual. 

“You ready for tomorrow, Jen?” Yangyang asks, rolling himself onto his side and letting his book fall closed, his tie wedged between the pages to hold his place. Jeno hums, sitting down on the floor with his back against the couch, eyes on the flickering fire in front of him. 

“You’ll do great, and we’ll win the House Cup. No pressure though. But seriously, it would be nice to win in our last year, wouldn’t it.” Jeno just hums again, his mind elsewhere. 

Sure, he’s stressed about the game, but he’s more worried about how to tell his friends about him and Jaemin. He needs to do it before they all leave school and Jeno and Jaemin run off to live a happy life together. How is he meant to explain immediately moving out of his family home into a modest cottage in a small town in Northern England with Jaemin to his friends if he doesn’t tell them before they graduate?

“Look mate, if you somehow manage to die or something, at least you’ll be remembered.” Yangyang jokes with a completely straight face. 

“Oh ha ha.” Jeno replies dryly, trying to tug his mind away from the dating dilemma for at least a minute, just to give his brain a rest. 

“You should get an early night though, so you’re on top form.”

“Yeah, yeah. I will.” Waving off his friend Jeno shoves himself to his feet and wanders off up to the dorms, knowing he’ll not be able to fall asleep for ages after he lays down, so he may as well start lying down now, so he falls asleep earlier. 

*

Jeno didn’t have any ideas the next morning either, about how to tell his friends about him and Jaemin. It would be hard enough if they just didn’t know Jaemin and his friends, but they pretty much hated his guts, and thought Jeno did too, despite him not having shown any negative, or positive attention towards Jaemin in years. He’d thought they’d have caught on by now, but they still just assumed Jeno hated Jaemin. 

Jeno wondered just how thick his friends really were, sometimes. 

But, as he heads into the changing tent outside the Quidditch pitch to ready himself for the last match of the year, he tries to push the topic from his mind. He needs to focus on the match, and not his relationship and friendship troubles. This was the deciding match. Whoever won this match pretty much guaranteed them winner of the House Cup. Either it would be Ravenclaw, or Gryffindor, and Jeno needed that win, not just for himself, but for his teammates, and his friends. As the Seeker, it was pretty much up to him to win them the game, and as quickly as possible too. 

All too soon the games about to begin and the Gryffindor Team are huddled in their tent, their leader giving her last minute pep talk before they all head out. 

Jeno’s going to enjoy his last Quidditch match, he’s determined to. No letting his mind wander, or worrying about exams, or grades, or his future. He’s going to focus on this one last school Quidditch match, and try to enjoy it. He’s always loved Quidditch, and so he wants to go out with a bang. He wants people to remember him as one of Gryffindors best Seekers. 

So, as he steps onto the pitch and cranes his neck to look up at the stands, beaming at the people waving banners and shouting, he feels that familiar rush of excitement, and his head clears. 

The match commences with a single blow of the referee’s whistle, and up into the air Jeno soars, shooting high above the stadium to watch from above, eyes peeled to try and spot the Snitch. This is where he loves to be; on his broom, feeling the wind bite at his cheeks up here, high above the ground. He takes a moment to watch the match going on below him, before returning his attention to the skies. 

A while passes, and he can hear the game staying pretty much tied, neither team taking the upper hand yet. Jeno’s got his eyes on the Ravenclaw Seeker, circling the pitch just a little ways below him. Until Jeno spots it. A flash of gold off to his right, just a little lower. He turns his broom towards it, keeping his eyes on the Snitch, before he shoots off like a rocket, whizzing after it, so close behind. His fast movement must have caught the announcers attention because he hears his name from below, loud and echoing, followed by gasps and cheers, sounding quiet from how far below him they are. 

He can feel the Ravenclaw Seeker just behind him, trying to catch up with him. He zigs and he zags, twist and turns, dives and ascends, staying right behind the Snitch the whole time. He just needs to reach out, stretch his arm out a little further,  _ just a bit more _ -

_ GOT IT! _

His hands clasps around the Snitch, but almost in the same second, his balance wobbles, his centre of gravity on his broom shifts, and his entire body slides forward as his broom tips the wrong way, sending him sliding off the from, and  _ into the air. _

Wind whips around him, making his cloak flap and twist in his legs. He can’t quite process what’s happening, as he calls from the sky, Snitch still clutched tightly in his hand, not until his body twist in a way that he can see the ground approaching, and that’s when the fear sets in. 

Suddenly, he’s terrified, and all he can think about his Jaemin and the future he’ll not get to live with him. 

He’ll surely die, he thinks, from how far he’s falling. He’s going to crack like an egg. 

He can hear screaming, one louder than the rest. 

It’s Jaemin. As soon as he’d seen Jeno slip off his broom the scream had ripped it’s way out of him, clawing it’s way from his throat like it was made of sandpaper and razor blades. Tears instantly start falling as fear takes over and he’s drawn his wand within seconds, lurching forward and shoving his way through the people sat in front of him until he’s up against the edge of the stand, wand pointed at Jeno. He screams the arresto momentum spell just in time to slow Jeno’s fall enough that when he hits the ground, he doesn’t break into a million tiny pieces. 

As soon as he’s on the ground, people start running, the screaming, which had stopped as Jeno was slowed by Jaemin’s spell, picks up again, but he doesn’t wait to answer people’s questions about why he cares so much about whether Jeno lives or dies, he  _ runs _ . 

His legs carry him so fast he almost falls down the stairs to the floor of the pitch, hurtling himself towards the centre, where Jeno lies motionless. The other Quidditch players of both teams have flown down to check on Jeno, and are surrounding him by the time Jaemin gets to him. He has to shove his way to the centre of the circle they’ve formed, and chokes out a sob when he sees Jeno’s leg twisted in entirely the wrong way. 

“Jeno-” He chokes out, falling to his knees beside him. Jeno’s unconscious, laying pale and broken, and Jaemin’s heart breaks at the sight. He gently pulls Jeno’s head into his lap, just enough to stroke his hair and cry silently, not caring who’s watching, or how this will affect their secret relationship.  _ He doesn’t give a damn if people find out now _ . 

Very soon, professors are shooing most people away, except for Jeno’s friends, the Gryffindor team, and Jaemin, who wouldn’t even leave if they asked him to. No one questions him, as he cradles whispers softly to Jeno that he’s going to be okay, that they’ll fix him, but as Professor Twigs lays a hand on his shoulder, gentle and consoling, his legs go of Jeno so the professors can hover him inside to the Hospital Wing. 

*

“We’ve… been dating for just over a year now… Since Easter of last year.” Jaemin explains to both his and Jeno’s friends as they wait outside the Hospital Wing. They have questions, obviously, but Jaemin answers them all, voice soft and vulnerable sounding. 

“Honestly… I’m not that surprised.” Donghyuck says. “You’ve not said anything mean about him for years, you just don’t stop me when I do. I thought something weird was going on. Though honestly I didn’t guess you were dating him.”

“I, for one, had no idea.” Yangyang comments, slouching back against the cold wall behind the bench he’s sat on. 

“Yeah, but you’re oblivious at the best of times.” Renjun comments, making Donghyuck snicker, to which Yangyang glares at him.

“Don’t start fighting. Not now.” Jaemin’s voice, though quiet, cuts through the beginnings of an argument like a finely sharpened knife. Every voice dies down, and each one of the boys hangs their heads, each feeling the weight of the situation. 

They’d all seen the state Jeno was in after he landed, and it wasn’t pretty. 

* 

Jeno’s eyes flicker open, his brow furrowing at the bright light shining through the window above his bed. It’s not his dorm, that’s for sure, but he can’t remember where he is for a moment. Then, he turns his head a little and his eyes fall on a very tired and puffy eyed looking Jaemin. He opens his mouth to speak, but only a soft croak comes out. 

Jaemin’s eyes widen as he realises Jeno’s awake, and he hurriedly pours a glass of water for him from the jug on the nightstand beside the bed. Holding it to Jeno’s lips he gently tilts it until Jeno can take a few sips. Then, with a soft cough, he looks to his other side to see Renjun and Yangyang. At the same time he realises where his is, and the events of the match come flooding back.

First, he wonders about the ending of the game -  _ did Gryffindor win? _

Then, he worries about how Renjun and Yangyang can be here at the same time as Jaemin without being suspicious. 

But, ultimately, it’s the pain in his leg that elicits noise from him. A soft whimper than trails off into a pained cry falls from his lips as he looks downwards, trying to see what state his legs in. Despite it being under a blanket he can feel that there’s something wrong with it. 

“Shit.” Jaemin whispers under his breath, grabbing a different bottle from beside his bed, and pouring it into a spoon. He fills a separate, smaller glass with a few spoonfuls, then hands it to Jeno, taking Jeno’s hand in his own to lift it to the glass, so Jeno can hold it himself. He doesn’t question it, simply trying to sip the liquid, before grimacing. “You have to drink it all, Jen. For the pain.” Jaemin’s voice is soft, and persuasive, so Jeno does as he’s told, gulping it down with a grimace and a gag. 

Only after a few minutes of Jeno laying with his eyes squeezed shut from the pain, does he eventually relax, the pain subsiding to the point he’s able to form coherent thoughts. He tries to push himself into a sitting position, but finds his entire body weak and achey. “Help. Wanna sit up.” He directs it at Jaemin, not yet having said anything to his two friends. Jaemin helps prop him up with pillows, and when he’s finally sitting upright, feeling a little more dignified, he sighs, looking from his friends, to his boyfriend for a minute.

“I told them.” Jaemin says, reaching out to take Jeno’s hand. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys… I didn’t know how, and I kept putting it off, and the longer I waited, the harder it got. I’m sorry.” Hanging his head, he sighs. If his friends hate him for lying to them, or hiding this from them, or even dating Jaemin in the first place, he’s not sure what he’ll do - Yangyang and Renjun are like brothers to him. He can’t imagine them not being his best friends. 

“It’s fine, we got over it pretty quick. We get it, I think I’d find it hard to explain how I was dating my former enemy too.” Yangyang says, shrugging. 

“I might’ve been a bit more judgey had I not just witnessed Jaemin cry his heart out because you got hurt, even though he pretty much saved your life.” Renjun follows up, lips twitching up at the corner, as if he wants to smirk, but is holding back.

Saved his life? Jeno can’t remember a lot of what happened - he just remembers falling, but not hitting the ground. 

“What… happened?” 

“Well, you fell off your broom, and as you were falling Jaemin was screaming like a complete banshee. I think he burst one of my eardrums. Seriously! Anyway, he slowed your fall so you didn’t splat onto the pitch, but you fell pretty hard and broke your leg and got a whole load of bumps and bruises. You’re lucky to be alive though, if it weren’t for Jaemin acting as fast as he did, you’d probably be dead.” Yangyang expplains. 

“And… the game? Who won?” Renjun almost cuts him off with a scoff, rolling his eyes as Yangyang bursts out laughing.

“Seriously? You only care about who won?” Jaemin asks with soft laughter in his voice. Jeno frowns, nodding forcefully. 

“Gryffindor did. You caught the Snitch right before you fell. You landed with it still in your hand.” Renjun says, with a smile. Despite him being a Ravenclaw, and having therefore lost the House Cup, he was happy for his friends. 

“So, where’s my celebratory cake?” Jeno grins cheekily, then yelps as Renjun smacks his arm. 

“Be grateful you’re alive! We were too busy worrying about you to get you a cake you ungrateful ass!” Renjun’s shouts are accompanied by the other boys laughter, though soon Renjun joins in too. 

*

**_June, 2018_ \- Seventh Year ** **_(Present Day)_ **

“So, what are you guys going to do now?” Renjun asks Jeno and Jaemin as they stand on the platform, ready to board the Hogwarts Express for the last time. 

“We bought a place a while back, in the countryside. Just a nice little cottage. It’s small, but it’s enough for us. Jaemin’s got a job lined up at the ministry, and I’ve got a job at a magical creature sanctuary to go to. What about you?” Jeno replies, eyes flitting over to where Jaemin’s hugging someone goodbye. 

“My dad got me a job at the ministry as well. Yangyang’s going to work with dragon’s somewhere. Suits him, right?” They both laugh, looking over to where their friends struggling over with a beaten up trunk dragging along behind him. 

“I’m glad things ended the way they did. I would’ve hated leaving with secrets. I’m sorry I had to almost die for it to come out though.” 

“Yeah, I wasn’t that fond of the almost dying part either. Maybe don’t try that again.” Renjun says, slinging his arm over Jeno’s shoulders to tug him into a side hug. 

“Y’alright lads?” Yangyang huffs, out of breath from lugging his massive trunk from the carriages. “Better get on before it leaves us behind. I don’t know about you but as much as I love Hogwarts, I’m not sure I want to retake my last year because I got left behind.” 

With a laugh they all begin to clamber aboard the train, Jeno waiting behind them at the door to beckong Jaemin over once he’s done with his goodbyes. 

“Ready for the next chapter, my love?” Jeno asks with a smile, holding the door open for Jaemin. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be, Lee.”

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #0071 for '00 Fic Fest!  
> 


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